On February 3, 2024, a woman shared her distressing marital experience on an anonymous forum. After 13 years of marriage, her husband, frustrated with his job, announced plans to relocate for a new position across the country and unexpectedly suggested they separate. He criticized her severely, which she found shocking and unwarranted given their history. Caught off-guard by both the relocation and the suggestion of separation, she is left grappling with the sudden upheaval in her life and their relationship.
In the weeks that followed, OP discovered her husband’s extensive communication with an old friend, a recently divorced woman, who was instrumental in helping him secure this potential job opportunity. The intensity of their interaction was staggering, amounting to over 500 texts a day, totaling approximately 24,000 in just a month.
OP’s story received an overwhelming response online, with many people deeming her “NTA” for her actions and decisions in the face of her husband’s betrayal and plans.
The husband’s plan was clear: he expected to relocate the entire family, including their two elementary-aged children, his mother, and OP herself. This decision was not taken lightly by OP, who reflected on her past sacrifices, including relocating for his graduate school and his current job. She expressed her dismay, saying, “Moving away from the kids’ school and friends, as well as my work and friends, is unconscionable.”
The situation escalated when her husband traveled to the potential job location for what was supposed to be a one-day interview but turned into a four-day trip. During this time, OP found evidence suggesting he was planning on engaging in a physical relationship.
Upon his return, when confronted, he defensively admitted that he had been “unhappy for 15 years.” This revelation left OP questioning whether she was at fault for considering divorce and pursuing physical custody of their children to remain in-state.\
Her husband insisted on the importance of the children having their father around, citing his own experience of growing up without a father figure, and argued that she needed to be there for the sake of the children.
OP’s story received an overwhelming response online, with many people deeming her “NTA” for her actions and decisions in the face of her husband’s betrayal and plans. The online community rallied around her, offering support and insights into the situation.
One commenter wrote, “He’s mad cause he lost his advantage when you figured out what was going on and got yourself a lawyer. Sounds like he was gonna move y’all and then anchor those kids to his new location. So you were stuck with the kids. Great job! You are definitely NTA [sic]!”
Meanwhile, another one noted, “Nta. He doesn’t get to upend everyone’s lives because he’s having an affair and doesn’t want to be inconvenienced [sic].”
A third voice added, “NTA – no way would I move just for him to divorce you when you move. Definitely file for divorce now before he leaves his job.”
What do you think about this story? Is OP’s husband justified in asking his wife for separation while also pressing her to move across the country for him? How would you handle the situation if you were in OP’s place? Would you accept the husband’s decision or take a stand against him?
Here’s another story you might like about a woman who wondered if she was wrong for checking her husband’s dashcam footage on his car without his consent.